I Still Don’t Get It But…


There I was sitting in my living room with a book of crochet patterns trying to figure out how the deuce to make heads or tails of the instructions. I was staring some of the “beginner” projects for over an hour and let me tell you, I’ve read calculus problems that made more sense than that noise.

EX: The first line of the baby hat pattern I tried from RedHeart.com goes like this. Rnd 1: Ch 2; 6 sc in 2nd ch from hook; join with a sl st in first sc.


I don’t see how that translates to a circle type pattern I was expecting from the picture. I just kept getting jumbled messes and had to cut horrible knots off my yarn before trying again. I don’t take defeat easily. Today is my day off and I’d damned if I didn’t have something to show for my efforts! So I found whole project videos on YouTube.com!!!! I thought they would just show how to do a single type of stitch, but no! They have whole projects! There were tons but I really like hats so I went with this lady.

Love this woman! Love her! I’d kiss her face if she were here! It took me a few hours but I made my first crocheted newborn beanie! Can I get a “what, what”? I’m so proud. My success was not without some set backs though. Look at this.



I clearly screwed up my rounds. Looking back I think I didn’t do the slip stitches right as I moved to the next round. But I just wanted to finish something to build my confidence, you know? I can’t help but think those gaps shouldn’t be there at all either…I’ll try again and see what happens.

I still have no idea no idea how to read a pattern though. I think knitting patterns make more sense on paper but don’t translate well when I execute it. Crochet is the exact opposite.

Oh well! Vive la Crochet!

And My Brain Just Exploded!

arm knitting


What the…??? How in the hell…? Am I having a seizure or did she just…?!

ARM KNITTING! Who thinks of this stuff? It’s like a BDSM meets Martha Stewart! 50 Shades of K1P2! I was just getting used to the idea of knitting with 2 needles and starting to warm up to the idea of multiple double pointed ones. Now you tell me you don’t even NEED them?!

I’m sure there are a lot of people out there doing this crazy business but I found this lady first. She’s French (I’m pretty sure her website is written in French anyway…) but you don’t need to read it. Just watch what she does and tell me you aren’t impressed.

I…I think I need to go sit down…

Fell for one of the classic blunders…

Brought my hat to work thinking I’d get a good 45mins in during lunch. So happy.

Did I get to do it? Noooope.

Got suckered into working through lunch for what essentially came down to an extra $14 bucks and a slice of cheese pizza.┬áThat’s what I’m worth…cold congealed Little Ceasars…

Hookers have more self respect than I do. Probably make more an hour too. The only bigger mistake I could have made today was getting involved in a land war in Asia.