WTF Yarn?! Why you gotta be rude?

 Ok. Seriously. All I want to do is make a HDC hat. That’s all! And it’s taking for fucking ever cause this yarn! This yarn splits on every single stitch! Sure it’s softer yarn but it’s not sock yarn for crying out loud! Why?! WHY?!

Worst part? I took off the paper and I can’t remember what kind it is so I can never buy it again! Damn it all to hell!

I’m So Dejected…


So here it is. The fox hat I’ve been working on. It still needs the ears but I’m so put out I don’t know if I’ll finish. This was SUPPOSED to be sized for a kid but NO! It’s man sized! It fits my husband!

So unless this fox has some kind of radioactive spider type origin story, it’s not gonna work.

Booty is in the Eye of the Beholder


Cruising through Tumblr this week I came across this and did a triple spit take. Ummm….did a guy seriously just knit himself a pair assless jeans and selfie that noise for all to see???

No. No. Thank God. This was the full picture.


Ah! Much better! And cute slippers! I can’t get the butt out of my head now though. Can you?

*Forehead Slap So Hard*


Just finished all the pieces for the latest hat I’m working on and it wasn’t until just now that I realized I half double crocheted the whole damn thing instead of the double crochet the pattern called for.

Yes, it’s still a hat. Yes, it still looks cute. But damn it all! I know its wrong! I know!

I’ll have all the pieces assembled and pics up shortly…grrr….

I Sad…

Got a bad review at work which further proves I’m no good at my job and not getting any better (yay) AND I didn’t get to knit on my lunch break cause my tum was all messed up from the stress of it all!

I shame my house and am an ordinary person at best. Sigh. I’m so irritated I could scream but I’ll probably just mope in self pity until bed time.

“Yo” or “Lost in Friggin Translation”

My mother sent me a pattern for a dish cloth to try. Major yawn. I want make hats or something fun!

“Do it! It will teach you stitches you need to know!” Ma says.


I start reading the pattern and it says “knit2, yo” and follows with more knitting.

I’m all excited like “Yo right back at ya!” And kept on trucking. A little while later nothing is looking like it should and I come to realize that “yo” is not an informal greeting from my pattern. It’s a direction.

Yarn Over.

Ahhhhh. Well damn. Why didn’t you say so? 3 YouTube videos later I think I’m finally getting it. I would ask my mom for help but she’s too busy laughing her butt off at me to be useful.

The hell is this exactly???


Dude…what is up with the smug chicks on YouTube making tutorial videos that move at the speed of light?

Slow it down you daft cows! I’m a bit dim, I’ve been drinking, and your weaving like Charlotte in the effing web is not increasing the likelihood of this cotton turning into anything a baby could utilize!

Screw it. I’m going to bed. It’s 1am and I have no idea what I’ve just done for the past 2 1/2 hours. I don’t even think this actual stitch…it’s like pig latin. All backwards and scarcely functional in society.