Rough time

  
I haven’t been feeling up to par this past 2 weeks so my postings have taken the back seat. All my energy has been pooled into just getting through the day with some shred of self respect and not having an outburst that I will regret later. 

It’s been up and down and when it’s down its been this simmering, combustible anger directed at everyone for any reason and I know it’s all me and not them. And my family bears the brunt of it and it makes me sick to my stomach.

Then I feel tearful and clingy and I just know everyone is conspiring against me. Everyone sees my flaws and hates me and I find it hard just to get out of bed. 

Then there are days like today where I get this sudden burst of antsy energy and I’m damn near bouncy. Colors are brighter and I can think a little clearer and I have to make a conscience effort not to talk as much as I want and slow down when I do. 

It’s a roller coaster at a theme park I didn’t buy a ticket for and I just want to get off the rides. But as they keep telling me, it will even out. It will get better. And in some ways it is. But when I get stopped dead in my tracks, trying for just a little traction, it’s frustrating as shit. 

So posts will be back soon. I just gotta get a handle on all this first. 

Happy Crafting All!

I Sad…

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Got a bad review at work which further proves I’m no good at my job and not getting any better (yay) AND I didn’t get to knit on my lunch break cause my tum was all messed up from the stress of it all!

I shame my house and am an ordinary person at best. Sigh. I’m so irritated I could scream but I’ll probably just mope in self pity until bed time.

“Hobbies are helpful” or “I’ve no health insurance and can’t afford a therapist”

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So after getting demoted at work and getting a significant chunk of my income snatched away I’ve had a hard time bouncing back from the Land o’ Depression.

Rumor has it that meditation helps but eff that noise. I don’t have time for that! I feel like a ferret on crystal meth and you want me to sit still for 30 mins? Please…

So I figure KNITTING! Keeps my hands busy, my mind too cause I have no idea what the crap I’m doing, and it’s productive. (Apparently you can make hats and stuff. Whaaat? They don’t all just come from GAP???)

So I bought this kit from Hobby Lobby and it came with a DVD and all the fixings for starting my journey into knitted awesomeness.

This better work. I swear I’ll drown myself in the ladies toilet at work if I don’t find some relief soon…